She tasted of cigarettes and stout
I didn't start the fire but I couldn't put it out
Skin as white as chewing gum and teeth of purest gold
How I loved my Mary of the Northolt Rd
It was a lovely summer Monday in July
We started drinking in the house until we drank it dry
We thought we'd go down to the Shawl to find an Irish rose
Instead I found my Mary of the Northolt Rd
I saw her standing up there at the bar
Drinking Guinness, smoking a cigar
But drinking tends to weaken your quality control
And so I started talking to my Mary-O
We started on the Magners and the whiskey
When we got to Diceys she started to get frisky
She said "you're coming home with me" I did as I was told
I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd
I thought she was the girl of my dreams
But in the morning she wasn't what she seemed
Drinking tends to weaken your quality control
And so I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd
A warning to you boys out on the beer
Drinking till you can't see is not a good idea
You'll start to get to talking and the next thing that you know
You'll wake up next to Mary on the Northolt Rd
I thought she was the girl of my dreams
But in the morning she wasn't what she seemed
Drinking tends to weaken your quality control
And so I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd
Drinking tends to weaken your quality control
How I loved my Mary of the Northolt Rd